Do you know how sometimes you can feel like you have to market yourself to get a date and then keep a relationship? Gets tiring doesn't it? It's called the marketing trap and here are some tips and tools for what to do instead.

Signs of the Marketing Trap

Where in the world did we get the notion that we have to sell ourselves or be someone we are not in order to attract someone? It's called the marketing trap and here are some of the signs and symptoms:

1. Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner.

2. "Selling" yourself with attractive packaging and presentation.

3. Acting like some you are not and/or someone you think the other person would want.

4. Saying you like something the other person likes when you really don't. I friend of mine is a huge fan of the Rocky movies. A woman he was dating said she was too. It was not until after they were married that my friend discovered she could not stand the movies and thought they were stupid.

The biggest problem with this approach is the high risk of disappointment and relationship failure as you discover that the excitement and promise of the "sizzle" conflicts with the reality of the "steak".

Solution:Get real, be real, stay real. Some people call this authenticity. You will attract compatible people when you show them who you really are. Better to connect with the real person than to find out something different later.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com