When you are nearing or just over your half-generation mark, (for those who dont do quick math that is hitting the age of 50 ugh!) and find yourself after divorce and looking for some type of relationship, many turn to the Internet and its plethora of dating sites to see what is out there. The problem is that most of those you have contact with day in and day out are not really available or you may just not be interested in them. Additionally, there is unquestionable mysterious excitement in putting your profile up on the dating sites and seeing just who may answer you or get in contact with you.

There are myriads of dating sites which cater to almost every type of relationship. From casual to serious, from gay to heterosexual, any possible desire and/or combination thereof can be sought and found and if you are willing and have the courage, joined.

However, in this short article I will talk about the male perspective in trying to find that perfect or at the very least, that not yawn after yawn woman to go out with. Let us assume that you have finally decided to post your profile on a specific dating site which we will call for the sake of this article, datetruth.com. The name I picked actually says it all. Most dating sites will ask you to describe yourself. Dont lie. Most of us dont look like Brad Pitt, our teeth are not capped with totally white gleaming crowns, and our muscles do not bulge out into the next state. Most of us are normal, okay looking people, with our own interests, hobbies and desires. The trick is, of course, to describe yourself, your true self in such a way, that others will be as interested in you as you are interested in yourself. (If you are not interested in yourself, then this is not the kind of article you should be reading anyway!)

Tell the Truth. Rule one. Cause sooner or later, if you do hook up with someone, it is going to come out on the first five minutes of the first date. Oh yes, if you are married and looking for an affair and lie about it well no one can stop you. But if you are truly single and truly seeking that one person, telling the truth is the only way to go.

The all important picture. Resist that temptation to put up a picture of you 15 years ago when your hair was thicker and not showing any strands of gray. Okay so you are not photogenic. Neither am I. But the picture is still important. 99% of the women looking at profiles will stop or go on based upon the visual they get. BUT, how much worse will you feel, if you do hook up with someone and meet for a first date, and she walks into the caf, and does not recognize you! And now the next hour is just a waste of time and neither of you gained anything except extreme disappointment and frustration.

As to looking over the profiles of the women. Here are some pointers:

1. Do NOT expect the pictures to be up-to-date. Just like you are tempted to put up a picture from 15 years ago so will your female counterpart.

2. Pay attention to the way the profile is written. Does it contain grammatical mistakes? Spelling mistakes? Is it a profile that describes the person, or can describe every female that ever walked the face of the planet? Beware of profiles that sound too good to be true. They usually arent.

3. If you are looking for a casual relationship say so. If you are serious say that as well. You will find yourself surprised how many people are just looking for a friend and a casual relationship while they get their act together.

4. Some partners want a husband. Others want a father for their children. Others want a sperm bank. Others want love. These are pitfalls you will learn to see and weed out when you are honest with yourself on what you are looking for.

In the end, if you are honest about what and who you are, you will probably find a great deal of women who are ecstatic to find someone like you. Before investing time though, make sure you know what it is you are looking for. And if you are not looking for anything, that too is good and certainly important to state. Casual or serious, straight or gay, whatever it is you are seeking you can find if you just know how to look into the mirror and see the real you. Because that is exactly what your date will be seeing when you meet for the first time.

Ted Gross

Ted Gross was born and raised in New York City and in 1978, moved to Israel, and currently resides in Jerusalem.

He began his writing career in University as the op-ed editor of the University paper and wrote a series of eight editorials during that year. While in Israel, he wrote two children's books. "The Letter & The Crown"; was published in Israel, while the second, and more successful, was published in the United States by United Synagogue entitled, "Of Rabbit's Wool & Camel's Hair". While teaching comparative religion, he also had articles on polemics and religion published in Midstream Magazine.

However, by the time the children's books were published his family was growing, and he began work and was active in high tech from 1985 until 2001. There he functioned as a CTO ? Chief Technological Officer ? in three different companies, managing to take two companies from start-up phase to a buyout and a successful IPO respectively.

After having taken the last company to a successful IPO, six children and a peaceful divorce, it was time to leave high-tech and try and develop some ideas in writing. At that point, Israel embarked on "Operation Defensive Shield", and since Ted is a reserve battlefield medic, he ended up in Jenin, and the battles that took place there became front-page news all over the world. "Three Weeks In Jenin" was written soon after, though unfortunately the contract was cancelled once the United States entered into its current war with Iraq. However, an independent movie producer, did do a documentary on Ted's experiences as a medic in Jenin.

He currently is working on the "Chronicles of the Children of Heaven" (a fantasy work), on another non-fiction book entitled "Last Times" and on a cooking book entitled "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen", (as well as short stories and poetry from time to time). To make ends meet, Ted owns a real-estate investment firm in Jerusalem and Virgin Earth Article Submissions.

Examples of Ted's work can be found on his web site.

Usually one can find Ted either putting out fires in his kitchen, drinking coffee in a cafe musing about the great "what-ifs" of life, assistant coaching little league baseball, dealing with one of his six children, having a fight with his sister, or walking the byways of Jerusalem with Rainbow, his golden retriever, pondering the silence of the heavens.