For many, shopping has more or less become a reason for living. If you find yourself at loose ends on a Saturday afternoon, you go to the shopping mall. And while thats not all that bad in itself, its inevitable that once there, you find you simply cant resist buying something. And even that wouldnt be so bad. But often, in the privacy of your home, you look at the article and wonder, what on earth where you thinking when you handed over your good money for an absolutely useless piece of merchandise.

More often than not, we are persuaded by the very environment in which we find ourselves. Or are persuaded, against our better judgment, by a well-trained sales person.

Decision to get married is sometimes very much like the idea of buying something that you really dont need, or want, or even like, but there is the opportunity and you either dont know how to say no, or think the idea will grow on you given time. Or the situation is conducive to nothing but a yes.

For example, there are those public proposals with thousands of football fans waiting for your answer to one of their heroes. Apart from fearing for your life if you knocked back the fellow, how about that rush of adrenalin to think that you are the envy of every woman in that stadium.

Then theres the one were the engagement ring is presented to you there and then, and even if you dont care for the design, you know theres going to be a lot of hurt feelings if you dont respond in the right way.

The future King George Vl is believed to have proposed to Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, a number of times without getting the answer he was looking for. But undeterred he kept on asking, until she gave in.

While this turned out to be a happy marriage, its believed that if you have to persuade your partner to marry you, its better that you dont. Somewhere in the future, when the two of you have the inevitable quarrel, there will lurk in her mind the thought that after all she had never wanted to marry you in the first place.

Sure, books are full of stories of persistent lovers who are eventually rewarded. But by and large if you find, when you pop the question, that she doesnt seem overly thrilled, respect her judgment. She might know what shes talking about.

Vlady Peters

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant performing weddings, naming, renenewal of vows and commitment ceremonies both for Australian citizens and for overseas couples visiting friends and relatives in Australia.

She is the author of two traditionally published books, "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings" and "The Small Organisation Handbbook" and is in the process of releasing two ebooks dealing with weddings and honeymoons.

Her major interest is research into customs and traditions of weddings.

By going back to the roots of customs, she believes couples can more clearly differentiate between what is essential in a wedding ceremony, and what is merely a personal preference.

This allows them to choose a ceremony reflecting their own situation within the framework of legal requirements.

Vlady has a bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Government, and has studied the writing of novels and romances. She has written children picture books as well as novels.

She is a member of Queesland Civil Marriage Celebrants - the largest Civil Marriage Celebrants Association in Australia - as well as member of Celebrants' Training Association.

She is also a member of Australian Authors, as well as Romance Writers Association where for a number of years she was the Convenor of the prestigious Emma Darcy Award - Australia's leading Lady of Romance.