To Overcome Your Fears You Firstly Need to Listen to Them
Do you fear failure? If you answer yes to this question you are certainly in good company. A variety of studies show it's one of the most common fears of the average person. Don't be ashamed or alarmed by this fear. Recognising it exists is the first stop towards conquering it. And it's essential to conquer your fears if you are going to successfully slay your dragons.
The Law of Feedback
The Law of Feedback states: there is no failure; there is only feedback. Or alternatively, there are no mistakes, there are only learning experiences. Successful people look at mistakes as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent, personal and totally devastating.
Buckminster Fuller wrote, "Whatever humans have learned had to be learned as a consequence only of trial and error experience. Humans have learned only through mistakes." Most people self-limit themselves. Their fear of failure prevents them from trying anything that doesn't come with a 100% guarantee of success. And in reality, there is no such thing. Fear of failure can paralyse you. It can convince you that you are beaten even before you begin. It can force you to give up at the first hurdle and sabotage your own efforts. If you want success (in any of its many guises) then you must overcome this fear before it overcomes you.
Take these steps to overcome your fear of failure and move yourself forward to getting the result you deserve.
1. Take action.
Bold, decisive action. Do something scary. Fear of failure immobilizes you. To overcome this fear, you must act. When you act, act boldly. Action gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. Ask yourself the following question: "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" Write your answers on a sheet of paper, in any order. Don't stop till you've run out of ideas. Now pick one thing and start it today!
2. Persist.
Successful people just don't give up, despite of the number and size of their knock backs. They keep trying different approaches to achieving their outcomes until they finally get the results they want. Unsuccessful people try one thing that doesn't work and then give up. Often people give up when they are on the threshold of succeeding. Remember that Thomas Edison tried over 800 elements before he found the right one for the electric light globe. His attitude wasI now know 800 things that don't work!
3. Don't take failure personally.
Failure is not a personality characteristic. Failing doesn't mean you are a bad person, or a poor judge or lazy or any other negative trait. Failure just means you did not succeed this time. But if you learn the lessons that go with each failure, you will be more successful next time. Life has a way of repeating its lessons till we learn them. So do yourself a favour and become a quick learner! And remember, the more mistakes you make (oops I mean the more learning opportunities you take) the quicker your skills will grow and the more you will be able to achieve. So welcome the learning opportunities and treat them as a gift.
4. Make a change.
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. If it isn't working try something else. Don't stop. Don't give up in despair. Don't whinge and moan. Just try something else. Anything else, no matter how crazy it may seem at first glance. The secret many successful people share is their willingness to have a go.
5. Support Yourself.
Reward yourself for the effort as well as the result. It's important to become your own best friend when you are trying to succeed at something new or particularly difficult. Your friends may desert you (depending on how they feel about the change you are embarking on) or not provide the level of support you need. But you are always with you. So learn to 'stand alone' as one of my good friends puts it. Be your best supporter, and go easy on the criticism. Sometimes you might need a kick in the pants, but watch the negative self talk. It can be very destructive. When you catch yourself saying things like 'now wasn't that a stupid thing to do' stop and apologize! And say something nice immediately.
Although we all make mistakes, fear of failure doesn't have to cripple you. As self-help author Susan Jeffers says, "feel the fear and do it anyway." It's the only way to overcoming fear and ensuring success.
Author: Jo Gibney
Author Bio:
Jo Gibney is seminar leader, group facilitator, professional speaker, writer and HR Consultant. Her commitment to adult learning is a life long passion, and much of Jo??s work focuses on developing not just work skills but also personal competencies and strengths. Check out Jo's websites at www.organisenow.com and www.dragonslayers.com.au
