Most of us have experienced certain moments of joy. Yet there are many people are walking around habitually sad, depressed, anxious, stressed, worried, angry, burned out, shut off or numb. Is it possible to rise to a higher state of greater joy, and to experience the everyday, easy flow of spontaneous, automatic joy? Many religions and spiritual teachings instruct joy is an inner quality. The belief is at the core of each person lies calm, radiant joy. In other words, everyone is born inherently happy. If joy is every persons birthright, why dont we all feel joy most of the time? For starters, we have taught ourselves, with much repetition, to focus on things which make us feel worse. We have become addicted and accustomed to feeling bad about ourselves. Stress and worry are common strategies utilized to poke, prod and push away what feels bad but without then connecting to what feels good. Sure, we may say we want to feel happy, but the behaviors we practice dont bring us any closer to joy. Pain and discomfort are tolerated. Worries are clung to, unhappy thoughts dwelled upon. Critical thoughts are acceptable, routine and automatic. We are experts at postponing joy. Heres how we usually handle life situations: An unpleasant experience is encountered. Anxiety, frustration, anger, worry, or a helplessness belief is felt. Tons of energy is focused on the problem itself. Not on what is wanted, but on the problem. The problem or unpleasant experience is fixated upon, worried over, analyzed, kicked around, picked at, obsessed over. The mind conjures up worst case scenarios. The overemphasis of attention on the problem creates additional uncomfortable feelings. A physical stress response is initiated creating a fight, flight or paralysis response. We drive ourselves into quite a frenzied state of feeling badly. All because we mistakenly believe the external situation must be resolved before we can feel better. How To Feel Good If indeed at the core of every being lies joy itself, than the process of experiencing joy is an internally directed, self-allowed state. In other words, joy is a choice. There is no problem to be solved first. There is no event, no person, nothing external which can provide the state of feeling good we search for. There is nothing to accomplish, achieve or attain before becoming worthy of feeling joy. Joy is not something to be earned. We dont have to be popular, thin, rich, good enough, nice enough, or even pretty enough to have this feeling of joy. Individually we allow, or disallow joy. The next time you are feeling something less than joyful, try this little experiment. Acknowledge the aspect of self which isnt feeling good. Ask, What must I be thinking or believing to feel this bad? Then remove attention from what feels bad and connect the imagination with what is wanted. At the very least, its good amusement to see how glued on we are to who wronged us or what is wrong with us. The stickiness of feeling badly is quite interesting. Instead of quickly removing attention from something which feels painful, we remain there. Its like having our hand on a hot burner and not removing it. While our hand sizzles, thoughts play with the pain, questioning whos fault it is our hand is currently on the burner, how to blame and hurt the person, or how to blame ourselves for having this experience. The simplest course of action seems to be removing the hand from the burner, thereby feeling better instantly. Amazingly, it requires gathering together of a tremendous will to move past painful emotions to a better imagined outcome. To feel greater joy we willingly choose to go through a process of teaching ourselves the importance of feeling good, loving ourselves and wishing ourselves well. We decide to care more about how we feel than about what is happening. Self-love is the desire to feel good most of the time. Loving ourselves involves a decision to stop dancing with a problem and instead choose exciting ideas and enlivening thoughts as new dance partners. Nothing Is More Important Than Feeling Good Emotional pain is an inner guidance system. It simply informs that our current thoughts and emotional focus are not aligned with love of self. Emotional pain is a big clue to move on to something which feels better, looks better, sounds better. Learning to interpret physical sensations is how we understand if we are on the right track. We feel bad and recognize were not on the right track. No harm done. Its just time to make some adjustments and find a situation, experience, thought or belief which feels good. If we are not feeling good, this is useful information concerning exactly what we dont want. Our responsibility is to love ourselves to such an extent attention is consciously turned toward what is wanted. Imagination allows us to dwell on a preferred outcome and feel better almost instantly. Nothing is more important than my feeling good. We cant control circumstances outside of ourselves. Life is full of experiences. But we can, with practice, decide what goes on inside. In each moment we can choose what we want to think about, what we wish to imagine, and what we choose to feel. If we are not thinking thoughts creating feelings of safety or joy, we can choose again. We always have within the freedom to choose a slightly better thought or vision. What can I do, in this moment, while Im feeling unhappy to produce enjoyable sensations or experiences? Learning to become obsessed with feeling good takes time and practice. Happiness is a decision and one which must be supported with thoughts and actions. And its not a one time decision. It may be a daily, or even hourly, choice to remind ourselves feeling happy is our primary concern in life. We alone are responsible for creating our experience. Teaching ourselves to stay in present time, and to focus on what is wanted (instead of worrying) is a gradual process. Yet, it is possible to learn how to remove attention from disruption, anger, worries and stress, and instead place focused and excited attention on new desired outcomes. We determine how much time is spent playing in feeling good or feeling bad. To each person, infinite potentials, infinite ways of being are available. From wherever we stand, from whatever unpleasant or unhappy situation is currently being experienced, another possibility is available for us to choose. However much joy is embodied, more is possible. The amount of power available to any one being is always capable of expanding. If life isnt happy or joyful, recognize alternative potentials simply do not arrive on their own. We advance into greater joy by our own efforts, by self-motivated and self-constructed ways and means. We are the masters of our own destiny, fr*ee to shape our own evolution. It takes some determination, but we are capable of lifting our hearts into greater possibilities, lifting ourselves out of the stickiness of feeling bad and into more exciting imagined outcomes. Remember, today, in this moment, feeling good is available. |
